Tails from Waffles
Field reports from the Blythe family's golden retriever. Updated whenever something dramatic happens, which is often.
Hi. I'm Waffles. I don't usually type, paws and keyboards don't mix, but I've got things to say.
Life with Pickles, Max, and BB is never boring...
These are my tails. The kind you read, not the kind I wag. Mostly.
Latest tails • Fun moments • Waffles wisdom
— Written by Waffles Blythe
Latest Tails
Field reports filed by paw, one chaotic incident at a time.
TAIL #001 • TUESDAY MORNING
The Case of the Vanishing Sock
It started like any other Tuesday: BB shrieked, Max shouted, and Pickles tried to convince the kitchen table it was a rocket ship...
TAIL #002
The Glitter Incident
I don't know who opened the glitter jar. Okay, fine. It was me...
Read →
TAIL #003
The Mysterious Crayon
I found a crayon under the table. Purple. Delicious...
Read →
TAIL #004
The Backyard Chase
This morning, the backyard was suspiciously quiet...
Read →
More tails coming soon. Waffles is still investigating several open cases.
Sniff back later →
The Full Archive
Tap any tail below to read it in full. (Waffles types slowly. Be patient.)
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It started like any other Tuesday: BB shrieked, Max shouted, and Pickles tried to convince the kitchen table it was a rocket ship.Then the sock went missing.Not just any sock. The blue one. The one with the polka dots. The one that smelled amazing.I don't know where it is. I've only sniffed all the laundry baskets, the couch cushions, and under BB's crib. Twice.
— Waffles 🐾 -
I don’t know who opened the glitter jar. Okay, fine. It was me. But in my defense, it smelled like peanut butter. Pickles said it was for a Very Important Art Project. Max said it was everywhere. I thought it looked nice on the couch. And BB. And the mailman. You’re welcome.
— Waffles 🐾
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I found a crayon under the table. Purple. Delicious. I took it to my blanket corner. Five minutes later, BB started yelling “Where’s Purple Sparkle Power Princess?” Uh-oh. I am now under investigation. Max is acting like a detective. I am pretending to be a couch pillow. Wish me luck.
— Waffles 🐾
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This morning, the backyard was suspiciously quiet. So I barked at the wind. Then a squirrel. Then the wind again. BB opened the door and shouted “WAFFLES NOOOOOOOO”
I ran. Pickles chased me with one sock. Max tripped on a rake. BB cheered. It was the best morning of my life.
— Waffles 🐾
Fun Moments with Waffles!
Snapshots from a dog's-eye view of the Blythe house. Mostly chaos. Some snacks.
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![Snack Swap]()
Snack Swap
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![Glitter Bath Bomb]()
Glitter Bath Bomb
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![Laundry Day Disaster]()
Laundry Day Disaster
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Sock & Seek
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Run Time!
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Zoomies
Waffles Wisdom
Things I've figured out from a lifetime of watching this family. (Mostly the snack parts.)
“
If a sock is on the floor, it is mine. If a sock is on a foot, it is also mine. The rules are simple.
— WAFFLES
“
Pickles cries hardest about the things she'll laugh about by dinner. I just wait it out.
— WAFFLES
“
When BB cries, I sit next to her.
I don't have to do anything else.
That's the whole job.
— WAFFLES
“
Max thinks he's in charge. BB thinks she's in charge. Pickles thinks she's in charge. I am clearly in charge.
— WAFFLES
“
If you love someone, you let them put the headband on you.
Even when it's pink. Even when it's tight. That's just family.
— WAFFLES
Waffles Wisdom
“Nap first. Bark later.”
“Some messes are worth it.”
“If it smells weird, roll in it.”
“Every doorbell is a test of bravery.”
“Socks are just hugs for paws.”